Astrology - Sunday Scribblings


Astrology is nonsense, but it is benign nonsense. Much safer than religion. I doubt anyone has ever been persecuted or any wars have started over astrology. I don’t think anyone has gone postal because his or her horoscope indicated a bad day. So if you follow it, fine. But to think you can break down the entire human race into twelve personality types is ludicrous. I have met women with more personalities than that and have met many people with none at all. Maybe there should be a category for that. Your birth sign is Toxic. You have no personality at all. Do not mix with the rest of humanity.

I think the reason Astrology is so popular is that it appeals to our vanity. Many of the characteristics listed in Astrology summaries are very desirable: Honorable, Powerful, Natural Leader, Nurturing, Intelligent, Prosperous, etc. We read the traits of our particular sign and think, “yeah, that’s me.” I think often it is more like, “yeah, that’s who I’d like to be.” If you didn’t guess by the image above (your sign might be Moron), I am a Virgo. So lets examine my Astrological traits.

The Virgo is highly discriminating, but not necessarily as prudish at some might believe. In ancient times, a Virgin was a woman who was not the property of man, and therefore had the legal right to just say "no." Now, in modern times, you Virgos are known for your ability to be highly discriminating -- especially when it comes to matters of personal desire. When Virgo is ready, however, to say yes, the laser-like focus of your passion is anything but prudish.

That is true for me. It is prefered that the object of my desire be female and conscious. If that is discriminating, I am on board.

Virgo is the picky one of the zodiac signs, critical and fault finding with the keenest eye of all for details. This sign is wonderful at analyzing, critiquing, schedules and agendas. You Virgos have the uncanny sense to see what's wrong with a person, a situation or your environment. It's why Virgo makes such natural critics. Virgo practical analytical abilities are second to none. Your mental process may not be the most creative, but Virgo's razor-like thinking is highly effective. Like the maiden pictured in the Virgo glyph, you separate the useful wheat from the unneeded chafe, the good from the bad. Virgo might be a "clean freak," but most Virgos have a messy closet somewhere or a disaster under their bed.

So basically, we are nitpicking jerks. I have three children who would agree with this analysis. You have me there.

The Virgo motto could be "Perfect is almost good enough." On one hand, this trait makes you very employable, for you're not likely to do shabby work. On the other hand, you can be so finicky that you put limitations on your interactions and experiences before they happen. You'll be happier if you can learn to be selectively less critical, both of others and yourself.

I have a bevy of former bosses who would beg to differ.

Element: Earth
Earth signs are naturally practical. In this lifetime we are bound to Earth. There is no escaping the reality around us The Earth is about as real as it gets; it can be felt, weighed and it has substance. Accordingly, the earth signs base their life on what is real, not what is imagined. Sensation is valued over thoughts or feelings. Earth signs live with their feet on the ground. Others seek their advice because of their basic sensibility. For earth signs, seeing is believing.

The earth of Virgo is a changeable earth, light to the touch. It's about practical analysis -- using mental tools to discern the best use for what is around us.

This must explain my hesitance to embrace religion and why I don’t believe in Astrology. Too much speculation and belief in dogma required. I do espouse tangible things like money and blondes. .

Sixth House: Work
The Sixth House is about the regular performance of work-related tasks. This isn't necessarily about career. It's about the job you have that buys the bread for the table. This sector is also where we look to find out about health and healing, for it's not only work routine, but also our daily habits of hygiene.

I bathe and brush my teeth regularly. Too bad about the other 11 signs. Dirty bastards.

Key Planet: Mercury
Mercury, the Messenger of the Gods, moves around the Sun faster than any other planet. He symbolizes our thoughts -- not only how we think, but how we communicate. In fact, Mercury is in charge of all language. Mercury is our active and rational mind. It is not only "just the facts" but also what we do with them. As the key planet of Virgo, Mercury is about intellectual discrimination. It's the binary function of the neurons in our brain. They either fire and impulse or they don't. Mercury here is about the basic "yes" or "no" decision that must be made for every piece of information that enters our consciousness.

I don’t even understand this gibberish.

Virgo Greatest Strength: Your ability to focus your attention

Good to know that my ADD and OCD do not exist. I am going off my medication immediately.

Virgo Possible Weakness: Need for perfection gets in the way of enjoyment

Condoms are a must. STDs get in the way of enjoyment.

So all of us Virgos are clean, critical, discriminating, hard working people who are such miserable souls that we are destined to spend our life alone, cleaning stuff. Well, maybe I do believe in Astrology after all. Maybe I should find me a nice Virgo woman and we can focus our attention on destroying each other with criticism and spending our lives totally dissatisfied with each other. Any takers?.

I don’t often pay attention to detail (not very Virgonian) so if the topic this week was actually Astronomy, please disregard all of this.