funny people quotes

funny people quotes

funny people quotes funny people quotes funny people quotes

funny people quotes funny people quotes funny people quotes

Information on the Internet is subject to the same rules and regulations as conversation at a bar. ~George Lundberg

Your children need your presence more than your presents. ~Jesse Jackson

Nowadays the clinical history too often weighs more than the man. ~Martin H. Fischer

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. ~Norm Crosby

The only exercise some people get is jumping to conclusions, running down their friends, side-stepping responsibility, and pushing their luck! ~Author Unknown

It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities. ~J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, 1999, spoken by the character Albus Dumbledore

We now no longer camp as for a night, but have settled down on earth and forgotten heaven. ~Henry David Thoreau

The truest mark of being born with great qualities is being born without envy. ~Francois Duc de la Rochefoucauld

All the suns labor to kindle your flame and a microbe puts it out. ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin

Religions are like farts. Yours is good, but everyone else's stinks. ~Picket Fences

Chaos is a name for any order that produces confusion in our minds. ~George Santayana

Excess on occasion is exhilirating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit. ~W. Somerset Maugham, The Summing Up, 1938

There is no such cozy combination as man and wife. ~Menander

But when he shall have been taken from sight, he quickly goes also out of mind. ~Thomas a Kempis, Imitation of Christ

It wasn't the Exxon Valdez captain's driving that caused the Alaskan oil spill. It was yours. ~Greenpeace advertisement, New York Times, 25 February 1990

The most important things are the hardest to say, because words diminish them. ~Stephen King

If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment. ~Henry David Thoreau

Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit. ~Elbert Hubbard

The past can't see you, but the future is listening. ~Terri Guillemets

Deja Brew: The feeling that you've had this coffee before. ~Author Unknown