funny people quotes

funny people quotes





funny people quotes funny people quotes funny people quotes



funny people quotes funny people quotes funny people quotes







Information on the Internet is subject to the same rules and regulations as conversation at a bar. ~George Lundberg



Your children need your presence more than your presents. ~Jesse Jackson



Nowadays the clinical history too often weighs more than the man. ~Martin H. Fischer



When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. ~Norm Crosby



The only exercise some people get is jumping to conclusions, running down their friends, side-stepping responsibility, and pushing their luck! ~Author Unknown



It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities. ~J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, 1999, spoken by the character Albus Dumbledore



We now no longer camp as for a night, but have settled down on earth and forgotten heaven. ~Henry David Thoreau



The truest mark of being born with great qualities is being born without envy. ~Francois Duc de la Rochefoucauld



All the suns labor to kindle your flame and a microbe puts it out. ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin



Religions are like farts. Yours is good, but everyone else's stinks. ~Picket Fences



Chaos is a name for any order that produces confusion in our minds. ~George Santayana



Excess on occasion is exhilirating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit. ~W. Somerset Maugham, The Summing Up, 1938



There is no such cozy combination as man and wife. ~Menander



But when he shall have been taken from sight, he quickly goes also out of mind. ~Thomas a Kempis, Imitation of Christ



It wasn't the Exxon Valdez captain's driving that caused the Alaskan oil spill. It was yours. ~Greenpeace advertisement, New York Times, 25 February 1990



The most important things are the hardest to say, because words diminish them. ~Stephen King



If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment. ~Henry David Thoreau



Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit. ~Elbert Hubbard



The past can't see you, but the future is listening. ~Terri Guillemets



Deja Brew: The feeling that you've had this coffee before. ~Author Unknown