before the BIG C DAY

Bet I've got you loves out there wondering what on earth is a bloody BIG C DAY? well, it means BIG CRYING DAY. You see, I'm flying off, leaving this homeland, to a far far away place, like real soon, and ALONE with family and loved ones seeing me off = to me BAWLING my effing head off. Prolly my limbs too. oh brother..

So anyway, one good thing, I managed to delay my flight from the 14th of Aug to the 27th of Aug. *phew* I get to postpone the awful dreadful feelings bottled up in me. Honestly I couldn't fucking sleep well without tearing. Duh.

You know its so ironic how you look forward to exploring new places and when that fucking day actually arrives, you despise how the time flies. Like fuck no, I have 2 weeks left? What the hell have I been doing? .. and all those bollocks.

These days, all I've been doing is going out, socializing, meeting new people, talking and more talking. Like woots! Trying to get my mind off the fact that I'm leaving, I supposed.

Also, I can totally feel the amount of tears stored up in my system and I want to let it go, but I can't seem to. at least not right now. And I really need to.

But I hate crying.

Coz it makes me suffocate. (my nose gets blocked)

My eyes so puffy it swells up the next day.

Horrible eyebags.

I need to cry.